Thursday, August 30, 2007

What Should A Pastor's Wife Be?

In my Seminary Wives Institute class called Essentials, we learned about our role as a committed Christian and a ministry wife. We did a fun exercise in class. Together, we listed all the stereotypes we have ever heard or held of what the pastor's wife should be. Here is what the class came up with:

The pastor's wife has a spotless home, is a gifted teacher, and cooks everything
from scratch. She is an extrovert, always dressed-up and fashionable.
She is even-tempered, wears long skirts and a bun, and never spends money on
herself. She knows all the verses to every hymn, cuts hair, is poor and gets
everything for free. Her children are perfect. She is a willing worker in the
children's ministry and especially the nursery. Her children are monsters. She
visits everyone in the church, is quiet and demure, never says no. And, of
, she plays piano, because the last pastor's wife did.

This list is ridiculous for many reasons, one being that some of her characteristics are contradictory. She's an extrovert and she's quiet and demure? She's dressed-up and fashionable but plainly dressed and never spends money on herself? No woman can be all these things, the perfect pastor's wife in everyone's eyes. And, praise the Lord, God does not ask any of us to be all these things.

Our instructor, Mrs. Mary Mohler, reminded us that there is no job description for a minister's wife. God does not want us to try to be someone we are not. We do, however, need to desire to serve, we need to be teachable, and we need to be willing to be all God wants us to be.

We ended the class with this encouraging quote from Pam Farrel, in Woman of Influence:
A call from God to be a pastor's wife is simply saying yes to being the person
God has already designed you to be. God knows what tools to use to make each of
us diamonds and for some of us, being married to a man in the ministry is just
the tool God will use to make us each the priceless gem He sees in us already.

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